4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He has the fingertips of a God
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