Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
