i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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