Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
