i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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