some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
