Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
