Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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