a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
