we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
