I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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