So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
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