i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
