I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
