Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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