This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize