WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
