I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
