So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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