well you can't waste a boner
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
