does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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