and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
