Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
