Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
