who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
