what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize