At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
