some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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