We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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