She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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