can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Found the puke drawer
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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