i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's like iHOP with fire
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
