guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
