go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
