If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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