my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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