It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
