This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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