and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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