bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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