Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
