an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The Olympian is in my bed
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