you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You were trust falling into bushes
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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