is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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