That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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