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He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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