That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Panties = found
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
