Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
