i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
