dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
