Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
