Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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