He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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