Banned from zoo.
Again?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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