Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
