haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
