So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
