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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  guys are only as good as the porn they watch

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• (916): View more from California

  Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again

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• (510): View more from California

  My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos

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