Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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