so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
