So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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